Hello friends, welcome back to my channel. For those of you who are new, my name is Sydney. I like to read, make book reviews, and talk about things that are a tad bit uncomfortable and even a little controversial.
So let’s get into it in today’s book review. I will be reviewing all about love by bell hooks for those who are not familiar with her. She is an author, a professor and activist, and a feminist. She actually decided to write this book right here, all about love, when she saw America becoming a very loveless place to live in.
so I really wanted to review this book specifically to go over number one why I think everyone should read this book
Two why I think it’s essential to have a standard definition of love and how that translates into a happy and healthy society.
And three how we can use this information to fight for justice with love because I promise you guys it’s possible.
So to start, I think everyone should read this book because I think many of us don’t have a standard definition of love. Many of us don’t know what it means, let alone how to actually show love to another human being.
Right to just give you the definition that she gave what love is, it is the will to extend oneself to nurture one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.
That makes a lot of sense to me, so to go deeper into that, she explains in this book that love is a choice. I think that many of us have been made to believe that love is about sacrifice and feeling needed and saving someone, and I think a lot of that can be very dangerous.
So I like that she just starts off by saying love is a choice, and it’s about during your growth and nurturing someone else’s growth.
That just, you know, don’t they make y’all feel them, so now that we have this definition of love, she does go a little bit deeper into how she came to that definition, and it is a little bit controversial.
I’m going to say it’s pretty controversial because she goes into how we learn about love. So the first school of love we have is viewing our family and our parents and those closest to us when we’re children. She exclaimed that we were made to believe that love and abuse can coexist when they cannot.
So she gives an example of a man that cheats on his wife that doesn’t really home a lot for his family, but he goes out and tells the world that he loves them, and we’re made to believe that that’s a valid statement.
I’m gonna go ahead and say that I agree with her and think that love and abuse cannot coexist. We need to understand that while we may have experienced a lot of care and affection in our households, that doesn’t necessarily mean that love was there. That doesn’t necessarily mean that we were shown how to love correctly.
So I feel like that translates over into we grow up. We accept abuse in romantic relationships with friends. It goes further to where abuse and violence are so ingrained in our society that we see people being killed by law enforcement, and people say but and well and maybe.
If we had a definition of what love was and allowed love to be transformative in our society, things wouldn’t happen that way.
In other words, we really need to stop and normalize abuse in our personal lives because if we can’t stop it in our personal lives, how are we going to stop it in the world.
You know what I’m saying. She also, when I really look, kind of comes after the love languages. For those of you who have I heard of the love languages, there’s a book about it you can take a quiz you can your love language can be giving gifts, quality time touch, etc.
I like what she has to say.
Imma read it straight from the book. She says this type of literature is popular because it does not demand a change in fixed ways of thinking about gender roles, culture, or love.
Okay, rather than sharing strategies that would help us become more loving, it encourages everyone to adapt to circumstances where love is lacking. And I know that she’s just talking about the love languages right now. Still, I feel like we can apply this to so much more than that because we really have become a society where it’s like, well, let me fix this about myself and let me do this for you.
And let me so now love has become a compromise, and that doesn’t really make sense to me either. So I really wanted to make this video because I have seen the word hate to throw them around a lot, especially on Facebook. Maybe that’s my fault for going on Facebook.
Because y’all know it’s hazardous when you go down the road going on Facebook. one a black light and a little bit is going on you know anything. But yeah, there’s no I.
I am here to say that there is no fear in love, but there’s a lot of fear in hate, and I love that she stresses that in this book.
And I kind of want you guys to sit back and really think that there is no fear in love, and when I read that, I think of the protestors going out and protesting.
There’s no fear in that there’s no hate in that love that’s love for the community that’s love for black people. There’s no hate in that.
There’s no hate in people using their platform to speak out on controversial uncomfortable topics. There’s definitely no fear in people calling out their family and friends, saying ignorant, hurtful things.
I really want people to understand from reading this book that it is totally possible to fight for justice with love.
Okay, I know that many of us have had uncomfortable conversations with family and friends. I think they are usually any better when you come from a place of understanding than love.
That’s not a fact. Okay, don’t set yourself up for failure because people are still gonna be mean to you when you try to be excellent. It’s just how the world works, but you know if you come from a place of understanding, then love.
I think the person you’re speaking with is definitely going to be more willing to do the same for you, right. What I also love about this book and what I want people to understand is that going back to love and abuse cannot coexist.
We think love is about, you know, eating with our enemies, then breaking bread with our enemies and singing and dancing with our enemies. I think she’s reminding us that you can respectfully tell someone to kiss these cheeks if they cross a boundary.
Okay, this book tells us that if we are being abused, it is more than okay to get up, pack our bags and leave regardless of the situation.
That we’re talking about, so when we’re talking about the black lives matter movement, we are being abused by the government by law enforcement by society by Karens by we could keep going.
Right, so it is now our time to say enough is enough. I am NOT taking the abuse anymore. We’re done. Ultimately people fear what they don’t understand, and I think it’s up to us now to make people understand why we are still fighting for justice.
I know it’s exhausting, and it seems ridiculous that we’re still talking about it. Still, it doesn’t make me feel better if it makes you feel better, but if it makes you feel better, they had to convince people that slavery was a problem.
So we have to sit here and convince people that a lot of enforcement should not be killing people, should not be kneeling on people’s necks, should not treat the black community like we don’t exist, and continue to do that.
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