Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening. Welcome to this channel. I am Tyler Simone, and you are watching “Reading in Black.”
First of all, welcome. I’m delighted you’re here. If you’re new to my channel, hello. It’s nice to meet you. If you’re not new and you’ve been here for a while, I missed you. Thank you for coming back. Today’s video is all about love.
But before I get into it, I must tell you the truth. I received a new book delivery the other day, and one of the books in the package was one I’ve wanted for a while. I told myself, “Tyler, just wait.” It didn’t work out. Long story short, I started reading “All About Love” by bell hooks.
I’m sorry about it. I’m not sorry about it. I mean, it’s bell hooks. She is an icon well-known for her writings about the intersectionality of race, class, and gender. She delves into a range of topics, from sexuality to feminism. She’s a proud feminist and a culture critic. Her critiques of the culture profoundly influence her writings, which I love the most so far.
I ordered this book, thinking I would start at some other point, but I opened it, read the introduction, and fell in love. It is a novel all about love. Where do I even begin?
She shares that she has a strong love interest and that love interest didn’t necessarily come from the love she received but from the love she was not receiving. And it came from the absence of love, which is valid for many of us. We often want what we don’t have, and because love is shoved down our throats all our lives, we desire love even more when we don’t have it.
She says, “I cannot remember when that feeling of being loved left me; I just know that one day, I was no longer precious to those who had initially loved me.” She talks about being trapped in the past, constantly seeking something she lost in the past—in this case, love. We all go through experiences that leave us scarred, making us more guarded and cautious. But she emphasizes that being trapped in the past hinders us from embracing love in the present.
When you’re trapped in the past, holding onto something or trying to find a lost love, you can’t be open to love in the present. It’s easier said than done, which is why many people, hurt and unhealed, end up hurting others, perpetuating a cycle of lovelessness.
She talks about lovelessness, a word I’ve never seen before. Lovelessness is simply the absence of love, and she argues that our society is heading toward complete lovelessness. Sadly, our culture has avoided discussing love for a long time. We know it exists, and all want it, but we rarely discuss what we need to feel loved.
According to the book, Bell Hooks went through a separation from a partner she had been with for about 15 years. She mentions that the event itself didn’t hurt as much as the new sense of despair she had regarding the existence of love. She had been with this person for a long time, and now she felt less hopeful about love.
Many people who have experienced the end of a relationship not only miss the person but also feel an underlying doubt about whether what they had was real love. This loss of hope in love is something many people struggle with today, and it often results in a cynical view of love.
The book mentions how young people today are cynical about love, skeptical that they can find it. They have seen how painful it can be to take the risk of loving and have it not work out. The fear of getting hurt again prevents them from giving themselves entirely to another person, leading to a search for intimacy without risk and pleasure without significant emotional investment.
True intimacy requires emotional investment, and being emotionally open is crucial. However, the fear of getting hurt makes many people run away from the risk of love, sabotaging their relationships in various ways.
The book also highlights that most books on love are written by men, even though men are often perceived as less emotional and less expressive. This raises questions about whether it’s more interesting to hear a man’s perspective on love or if more diverse voices are needed to discuss love.
Another point the book makes is that while the world is loud about the desire for love and romanticizes it, it remains relatively silent about what love is and how to express it. People are often silent about love, shielding themselves from the fear that knowing too much about love will lead to lovelessness.
The book suggests that our silence about love is a protective mechanism to avoid the risk of heartbreak. It highlights that love is necessary for survival in our world, and the absence of love is the root cause of dysfunction, negativity, and societal problems.
In conclusion, this discussion opens your mind to the concept of love and its importance. Love is needed to thrive in our world, and the absence of love leads to many issues. Please feel free to comment if you have any thoughts about love, like this video, and subscribe if you haven’t already.